Someone Asks “What Parenting ‘Trend’ You Disagree With?” And People Give 60 Perfectly Blunt Answers
Raising tiny humans is a challenge that many parents gladly accept, even though they know that navigating the trials and tribulations of the journey can be overwhelming. After all, parenthood is always evolving. New ideas, technologies, and methods come about and demand that moms and dads adapt to the modern parenting arena and raise their little bundles of joy in the best way possible.
But while everyone wants what's best for their kids, some controversial tactics inevitably stir heated debates. So when a Redditor called ShopFastWhere reached out to 'Ask Reddit' wondering, "What parenting 'trend' you disagree with?", the answers started rolling in. In fact, the question sparked a much deeper chain of questionable and even toxic parenting behaviors that people are, quite frankly, sick and tired of seeing.
Below, we've gathered some of the most illuminating, blatantly honest, and thought-provoking arguments to share with you all. So continue scrolling, upvote the examples you agree with, and let us know what current parenting trends you don't agree with in the comments.
#1putting every single damn thing on social media
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#2Publicly shaming their kids. Often for not doing something they'd never expect another adult to do.
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#3Stop comparing your kid with other kids when you are disappointed at them for not achieving *your* expectations
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#4Parents who won't use "no" with their kids.
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#5Destroying their children’s electronics as a punishment.
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#6Never lettings them fail. I see young people who enter the workforce having never failed at anything, because their parents simply swooped in and fixed whatever problem they may have had.
These young people have a real struggle adapting to and overcoming problems, and they often seem traumatized by virtually any setback.
Let your kids try stuff that isn't going to work. Let them fail to solve problems and achieve goals. When they get into a bind, let them struggle and fail. Help them to understand why they failed, and to develop strategies to succeed in the future.
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#7The parents that say “real” moms don’t have c sections. That s**t needs to stop.
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#8Parents who are way too involved in their adult children’s lives. Your kid is 23, you don’t need to call his boss to talk about anything unless your kid is dead.
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#9Shaming your kids on social media. Like, making them hold a sign that states what they did and putting a picture of it on the internet. And we wonder why the world is full of bullies...
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#10Beating your kids till they fear coming home, I was one of those kids and I hated every moment of my childhood.
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#11Blaming the phone for any sort of pain
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#12Sharing their childrens' problem to their friends. Parents should be trusted by their kids of keeping their problems. Maybe that's the reason why most kids and even teens dont share their problems to their parents but to their friends
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#13Never saying sorry to your children. Not really a trend though because this has basically always been like this
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#14Not just a parenting trick, but the whole "breaking someone down to make them stronger!" thing... That's just f*****g abuse and will 99, 9% of the time NOT WORK and only make people hate you.
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#15Using the line "let the kids express themselves" when the kids are running around screaming and tearing things up. I'm not saying you have to hit your kids to get them to behave but do something. Stop them yell at them do what you have to do just try to do something to discipline your kids.
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#16Letting your kid eat whatever they want. Way too many kids hitting obese status by 10.
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#17Parents trying to create golden child by enrolling it in thousands of extra activities, something musical, tutoring on STEM subjects from first year of school, some sports activity, etc. To the point where child is basically on doubleshift with school and all extra activities with extremely tight schedule.
Kids are missing out on becoming independent from young age like riding bike around or using public transportation because helicopter mommy drives them from activity to activity all day to met tight schedule, they are robbed out of their childhood and usually create only shallow relationships with people they met during activities but don't have time to expand on them.
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#18I work as a waitress and I notice some parents allowing their children to do whatever they like in a public place and then not cleaning up after them or apologising… no, it’s not my job to clean your child’s mess, it’s yours - you don’t come to a cafe just so you don’t have to clean up. I am talking food all over the floor, opening up sugar packets and throwing them everywhere, taking clean cutlery setup for patrons who need to use it and throwing it everywhere and leaving it like that… no. Just no.
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#19Shoving tablets in their face instead of doing things with them
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#20'Everyone's a winner'. Nope. Just nope.
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#21tiktok mommy bloggers.
theres a huge spike of mommy bloggers on tiktok especially who are posting vids of their babies in the bath, in swimsuits, or in their diapers and when people comment like 'uhhhh maybe you should take this down, theres pedophiles online' the moms blow up and accuse everyone of being a pervert by 'sexualizing her baby'. But the moms are yelling at the concerned people! Not the pedophiles! I cant remember the account name but the situation was f*****g horrifying. For some context for non-tiktok users, the amount of shares/saves/bookmarks on posts is public. Also, if youre popular enough, tiktok pays you per view/interaction/save, so a lot of content creators get money from tiktok. On this mommy blog, the vids of her daughter in her swimsuit or in the bath had about 5x as many saves/bookmarks. At first when people pointed this out, mom ignored it. Then she called anyone who mentioned it a pervert. Then she said she cant stop pedophiles from coming to her account so she cant do anything about it. Then people were like 'wait, you agree that pedophiles are watching this?? and you keep making videos?? arent you basically making cp at this point??' and then it was just a whole s**t show from there. Shes still up and running.
i feel like this shouldnt be a controversial take, but if you're profiting off of pedophiles watching your baby in the bath, you learn that thats whats happening, and you continue to make videos of your baby in the bath to make money from pedophiles, congrats-- you have become a child porn peddler.
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#22Not being able to discipline your own kids.
Discipline and abuse are two totally different things!
You either correct them now or let the "system" do it for you later.
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#23No punishments at all. You cannot tune a complex system with positive feedback alone.
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#24Leaving American mothers with absolutely no support, no paid parental leave, no decent childcare options, poor postpartum healthcare, and then criticizing them ad nauseam for the choices they are forced to make in the hellscape that is American motherhood.
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#25Disregarding your kids personal physical boundaries for the sake of being ‘polite’. This goes for both parents and any other adult around children. Sorry, if my kid doesn’t want to give you a hug or a kiss on the cheek (or even a high-five for that matter) it ain’t gonna happen. Doesn’t matter who you are to them.
It should never be expected or pushed on a child, period.
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#26Some gentle parenting techniques go too far. My ex-nephew had a tantrum in the middle of my ex-MIL’s living room one day because his bagel was cut in half (typical toddler stuff). SIL at the time just kept saying in this over the top voice “ohh, I’m so sorry. I know you didn’t want your bagel cut. I know, it’s so hard, blah blah blah.” She just kept on like that to him forever while the rest of us just had to sit there with a screaming toddler melting down in the middle of the room. Remove him! Take him to another room and have him calm the hell down to behave with others. There’s gotta be a balance on supporting your kids through their feelings and teaching them how to function around others.
She also helicoptered him so much he was developmentally behind in motor skills/physically for a while cause she never let him fall or explore/ figure anything out like toddlers do. She treated him like he was made of glass.
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#27Actions have no consequences. If they do wrong, discipline them!
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#28Encouraging transgendering or using alternate pronouns JUST because your child exhibits some behaviors that aren't overwhelming part of either of the gender binary.
It's fine if your daughter or son wants to engage in activities that stereotypically are engaged by the other sex. Tomboys are a thing. Experimentation is normal it's not just a sign of being trans.
Hair cuts, toys, clothes etc. Don't drop knowledge far too advanced into children's heads. Let them come to these conclusion of their own volition. Your child is not an accessory
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#29I told my kids quite openly about my punk years and raving years and living in a van doing gig job years, encouraged them to do whatever they liked
and they both rebelled by doing really well at school, not taking loads of drugs (neither of them even drink!) and getting themselves sensible careers.
there's no hope for the youth of today. squares, the lot of 'em
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#30Enforcing religion, teaching kids materialism will make them happy, not looking into the child's mental health
#31Having worked in early childhood education, there are a lot of parents who focus on academics rather than social emotional skills, self care, and social skills. "Mrs. Parent, that is absolutely wonderful that 4 year old Raighdyn can read at a second grade level and does 25 worksheets every night, but can we discuss the fact that he has panic attacks, sensory issues, hits his class mates and doesn't know how to wipe himself? No? Oh, ok, you'll give him a worksheet to learn about it. Great..."
Seriously, parents need to tell their preschool and kindergarten teachers that play based learning is the most appropriate learning style for EVERY CHILD at that age. It doesn't matter if they are advanced and can do the desk work, they still need to build so many other non-academic skills that will bolster their ability to "student" effectively in the future. I recently resigned from my much loved position in a preschool because the administration was trying to go against the state standards and have us start teaching preschoolers how to read. They moved a more senior teacher out of her room against her will and inserted a more malleable, newer teacher in because she was willing to do what they wanted, and guess what happened? Her class was a NIGHTMARE. Now that class is in Kindergarten and they are having so many behavior issues that they can't even teach.
DOWN WITH WORKSHEETS!
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
#32Treating your kids like they’re the center of the world. My son is the center of my world, but I can’t treat him that way. It would be a rude awakening when he’s not the center of attention wherever he goes.
#33Kids/babies in dating app photos. I think there should be a rule against it no minors. Mind boggling how many guys have them on there.
#34Blaming teachers for kid's problems.
Are there some bad teachers? Of course. But blaming the teacher/school when you yourself won't discipline them is refusing to take responsibility for your parenting choices.
#35Telling kids they can be anything they want.
Your 5’6” kid at 17 will not be drafted for the NBA.
Your kid made a C in bio 1 and had to retake chem 1 twice, they’re not going to get into medical school.
Your kid plays video games all day, have mountains of soda cans piled up in his room, and wears the same shirt 3 days in a row. They’re not going to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
#36Attachment parenting. You know, those weird a*s mother who let their kids breastfeed until they the kid decides to stop, often times ending up with 5+ year olds sucking on their tits every day.
#37The lines between gentle parenting and permissive parenting are getting blurred.
I 100% believe children should have their feelings validated and be spoken to like actual human-beings. I abhor corporal punishment and feel that it is lazy and abusive. However, it is not good to have the pendulum swing too far the other direction. Too many parents make the decision to never say “no,” and withhold any form of discipline. Their kids grow into spoiled, demonic, terroristic little shits and believe the entire world should bend to their will.
#38Looking through the comments I now realize that this is actually a bad parenting trend and I never knew.
My parents are unnecessarily hard and strict on me, especially in school. For example, me report card came in recently and they were microanalysing everything. I asked my teachers if my grades were good and they said that my grades were actually way above average and some slightly lower grades are expected (we use the 1-2-3 system), but my parents yelled at me and punished me because my grades weren’t perfect (all 3’s and 4’s [4’s are basically extra credit])
#39Filming or taking pics of crying younger kids and posting it on social media like it's cute/funny. Sure, they may be crying for a silly reason, but they aren't old enough to process their emotions properly, so to them it's a big deal. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but it feels like their main protector giggling and taking their phone out to film them during a meltdown can't be something good for their emotional well-being and ability to trust in the long term.
#40I used to bicycle long distances regularly to get to friends, swim lessons and when I was old enough, to work.
Now it seems you are a terrible parent if you let your child out of your sight? From the perspective of building independence, confidence and saving the planet from helicopter parents driving their kids everywhere can we please just let kids bicycle again?
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#41ALL of them. There is no trend or even broad tactic that will work every kid. They need to know that love is unconditional but respect is not. That they have rights and responsibilities.
They have to know they are the most important thing in the world until they believe, and then you have to dial that back to where they understand that their parents love them but they are one member of a bigger society.
Parenting is hard, and every kid needs to be patented different. Every parenting trend is just one more layer of b******t trying to sell you stuff based on your fear of inadequacy.
Talk to your kids and put the phone down.
Source: ten years in child care.
#42Homeschooling kids to protect them from what happens in the education system. I don't like everything that happens in schools, but kids need a real education and regular exposure to kids their age.
#43Scaring their kids as a prank, regardless of whether it’s filmed or not, before the children can comprehend what a prank even is
“Let me put on this scary monster mask and jump out in front of my toddler”
#44Treating your child like they were perfect and blaming everyone else for your child's and your f**k ups.
Oh, and taking your child's side no matter what, even if they're wrong.
#45Instagram for fetuses and babies, keep your children away from that kind of exposure
#46Unschooling. Intentionally not educating your kids academia items.
#47Unrestricted screen time. Even worse is unrestricted internet access. There is a 7 year old on our street with their own iPhone. I can’t imagine the s**t that kid must encounter.
#48Completely ignoring your kid when they're acting up in public and letting them p**s everyone else off.
#49Can we make gender reveal parties illegal?
Trust me. Nobody wants to attend your gender reveal party. Just have the baby shower and be done with it. For adding yet another event to celebrate your pregnancy is just narcissistic.
#50Herbal drugs like valerian root, cannabinoids psychoactive or non, kava, kratom etc instead of Dr. Prescription.
#51No rules, no saying no. It creates entitled and spoiled kids who have complete meltdowns well past meltdown age. Plus it leads to a much harder adulthood when the world doesn't give them everything they want to shut them up.
#52I’m 17 and my parents don’t allow a closed door.
#53“Cry it out”. I think it’s cruel and didn’t do it with either of my kids. If my baby is crying it needs me, it’s natural instinct
#54Just anything that involves vocal and physical aggression. Makes me sick
#55Pushing kids to go a certain way in life vs. what would best suit their child(ren).
Parents will not be living the lives of their children.
#56Kicking them out at 18
spraying whip cream in the mouths of kids in the middle of temper tantrums
misspelling common names and complicating others:. Ambyr, Brodyn, Charliquann, Trishtan, Kaylaie, Merriaya, Kaytlyn, Dominique
using electronics as a baby sitter.
If you aren't with the kid while he is using the 'educational software for genius 2 year olds' then it is basically a babysitter
Multiple first names (brandyn Mark, Billey Dominiques
unvaccinated kids but then bitching about it when they can't enter public and education services